By REUBEN MBUVE

Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money. Between ages 18 and 25, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And even after I had a business, well, and killed it down, it wasn’t until I was 29, and after joining YALI-RLC-EA that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.

Chances are you’re more like me and have no clue what you want to do. It’s a struggle almost every adult goes through. “What do I want to do with my life?” “What am I passionate about?” “What do I not suck at?”

1. Notice dreams and signs. …

The subconscious has ways of letting you know if you’re heading in the right direction. Pay attention to the things that happen in your life, the people you meet, the things you notice, the places you are drawn to. Upon waking, actively connect to your dreams – keep a pad by the bed to write things down, and let their symbolism work on you.

2. Think about what you used to love. …

When I was a child, I used to write stories and draw, I remember I had a full book of a creative soap opera in my boarding school box. I used to sit for hours by myself, writing away, about aliens, about superheroes, about great warriors, about my friends and family. Not because I wanted anyone to read it. Not because I wanted to impress my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And then, for some reason, I stopped. And I don’t remember why.

We all have a tendency to lose touch with what we loved as a child. Something about the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of us. We’re taught that the only reason to do something is if we’re somehow rewarded for it

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much I loved writing, something I did in my early teens, just for fun.

3. Notice what feels good, what keep you going,,,,,

We’ve all had that experience where we get so wrapped up in something that minutes turn into hours and hours turn into “Holy crap, I forgot to have dinner.”

Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton’s mother had to regularly come in and remind him to eat because he would go entire days so absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I as long as can remember been fascinated by reading leadership articles, stories about how political leaders emerged successful, and those who failed, why they failed, I have read soo many stories I actually find myself going through same articles again unknowingly. This love for leadership became part of me, I discovered I had this passion and hidden desire to be a community leader that I decided to adjust my career into it. Today, everything I do, time I spend, people I network with, places I visit, they all align to my leadership dreams

Maybe for you, it’s something else. Maybe it’s organizing things efficiently, or getting lost in a fantasy world, or teaching somebody something, or solving technical problems. Whatever it is, don’t just look at the activities that keep you up all night, but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you. Because they can easily be applied elsewhere

4. Be part of saving the world,,,

The world is fucked up, believe you me, the problems are soo many and intense we are all going to die. But can do something before that time comes, we can all do something

So pick a problem and start saving the world. There are plenty to choose from. Our screwed up education systems, economic development, domestic violence, mental health care, governmental corruption. Hell, I just saw an article this morning on sex trafficking in the US and it got me all riled up and wishing I could do something. It also ruined my breakfast.

Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself. But you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Gee Reuben, I read all of this horrible stuff and I get all pissed off too, but that doesn’t translate to action, much less a new career path.”

Good question,

 Ask yourself, if someone put a gun to your head and forced you to leave your house every day for everything except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And no, you can’t just go sit in a coffee shop and browse Facebook. You probably already do that. Let’s pretend there are no useless websites, no video games, no TV. You have to be outside of the house all day every day until it’s time to go to bed — where would you go and what would you do?

Sign up for a dance class? Join a book club? Go get another degree? Invent a new form of irrigation system that can save the thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would you do with all of that time?

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you know, go out and actually do them

5. What would you want people to say in your funeral?,,,

I have in several times thought about what people will say about me in my funeral, sometimes I laugh about it when I picture my friends trying to say all sort of goodies about me yet I was heel in their lives,,,but thats not the point, the point is, you need to think about your funeral day, what will you be remembered after you are gone

What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are going to tell when you’re gone? What is your obituary going to say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it to say? How can you start working towards that today?

And again, if you fantasize about your obituary saying a bunch of badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then again, you’re failing here.

Discovering one’s “purpose” in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you. It’s not about some great achievement, but merely finding a way to spend your limited amount of time well. And to do that you must get off your couch and act, and take the time to think beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself, and paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself.

6. Turn down the distractions. …Connect to your core.
Your core is your stabilizer; physically, emotionally, and mentally. When you feel off in a work out, or in your day, or notice a negative thought or insecurity arise, engage your belly. Draw your stomach in, and up – hold it, then take some deep breathes and you will immediately center yourself in a powerful way. It’s a very simple, life-changing tool.

Pay attention to what keeps coming back

Through the Gym, Yoga, meditation, prayer, or just a silent moment with yourself, always find out what connects you to your core to avoid distractions

7. Drop From Your Head to Your Heart

Your heart is your best tool to access your true purpose and passion. Ask yourself what you love? Start taking steps to do what you love. When you are inspired and connected to your happy self, inspiration floods your heart and soul. When you lead from your heart, you are naturally more joyful and motivated to explore. By doing what you love, you will be inspired and gain insights into what brings you the most joy.
And the most important above all ,,,

7. BE patient, Don’t expect your calling to delivered via express mail